woman in red tank top standing on stone near body of water during daytime
Photo by Josh Willink on

I remember the day.  This voice traveled from a distant nowhere.  “Anna,” baritone like a stream running past the smoothest river stones.  I never knew how much I longed to hear my name audibly.  “Anna.”  My senses were immediately heightened and at this point, I discovered my soul so parched, even the sound of my name brought morning dew.  And just as I’d always imagined during complete submersion in the bath waters of childhood with muffled sounds of the spirit world rushing in my ears, time stood still, and I sensed this voice beckoning me to a new world.  I did not know where to step next but felt his hand reach out toward mine and though the presence was unseen, I began to step forward.  At first the terrain was rough, but his strength naturally pulled me up onto the larger rocks and safely carried me over the longer distances between.  Inside I felt our journey could not end quickly enough because it seemed once we stood still, I’d be completely encircled by radiant protection.  At some point, I became consciously aware that this feeling of total safety was superior to sexuality in every way.  I was rushing toward this being, confident he was a worthy guide with my best interest always at heart.  From the moment he called my name, time had lost its meaning and every minute was a desire to continue moving forward hand in hand with total faith I’d finally arrive.  You would think that safety is separate from playfulness.  But though I was willing to entrust my journey to this newfound presence, the safety I sensed was nothing void of playfulness.  The steps we took were not rushed and I felt a childlike permission to be myself.  In fact, it seemed his spirit was endearingly amused at the naivety with which I depended upon his instincts.

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