My obsession has returned, in greater force than before. It was a genuine encounter. I remembered the research project I’d begun over a decade ago and realized I’d gotten caught up as the subject of my own experiment to prove that love is not just a deep hole in which to fall, only to find yourself desperately crawling out many years later.
Time passed so quickly through the sundry counterfeits, I barely noticed the hypothesis disproved. From puppy love, to passion, toward regret and settling on commitment, I’d never truly loved. Counterfeit was my comfort that I’d not end up alone. But no one’s to be blamed for doubting what is only a hunch, a distant omen that two hearts can exclusively belong together, as the emanation of all that’s good.
You see, it’s frightening to wake up, but even more frightening to realize you were asleep.
We find true love by ruthlessly searching for our truest self. We’re abandoned because we at first abandoned our first love. Is love destined to rotate endlessly, outside the orbit of reality designed to keep us safe? Can we will love into existence, to meet us where we are? Or must we explore another planet and risk a break with earthen boredom for alien encounters.
How I long to explore this love, this life in outer space, where my species is tolerated and even embraced, by he who speaks my language and breathes in synchronous tempo.
Love is a truth that fights to make it onto the page. Love is not fanatical. Love is at peace with the time it takes to realize its fullest potential. Love is the real deal and immediately recognizes all counterfeit encounters going forward. But love is not always on time. Sometimes love shows up late to the party and bemoans the dance that’s already been taken. Sometimes love is put to sleep for the greater good of all. But you’ll know her when she appears or reappears to give what is rightfully yours – true love’s encounter.