Minuet and Trio by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

In my estimation, I’ve never excelled as a musician, and this has caused great angst for me. Perhaps I never refined my craft, because other things always took greater precedence, but perhaps it’s just because I didn’t have enough talent. It could be that I just lacked the discipline.

As a part of my discipline to look at my musicianship more positively, I recognize that through my mother’s investment ensuring that I practiced 30 minutes daily, for 9 years, I’ve been able to secure employment as an accompanist since I was 16 years of age. Additionally, I can sit down to play for enjoyment, something I haven’t done for years, because of becoming a mother, because of it creating intolerable “noise” in the house.

Music isn’t a solo sport. Yes, it’s enjoyable to privately experience music, but for me, it’s even more enjoyable to share music with others. So, I’m sight reading and posting some songs that I learned when taking piano lessons. It is so surreal to play through the books and see the notes that my late piano teacher, Marie Burnette tediously provided for me in each lesson.

Here’s to sharing what we have, rather than focusing on what we haven’t achieved.

18 Comments Add yours

  1. When Struggle Ends
    Effortless Ease Sees
    Dancing Tight Ropes
    Higher Arriving
    Forever Now
    Eternally
    Enough
    For You
    See my
    Quotes
    Are
    Too
    Long To Quote🎼

    -Wind

    1. Anna says:

      Beauty undefined
      except in our mind
      wandering freely
      through forest
      blue
      slight hint
      of purple hue
      classical hands
      joined with nature
      eyes closed
      gentle awakening
      nerve endings alive
      transported
      high above
      where birds soar
      awareness flies
      Upon the wings
      of blissful newness
      no beginning
      eternal finish.

      1. That’s Truly Beautiful Anna And What’s Best Of All
        Is i Feel And Sense And Will Describe It All

        Yet This Verily Wasn’t Always So Before…

        My Mother Was A Published Poet in Her
        50’s… i Couldn’t Understand Why Anyone
        Would Wanna Write Poetry Or Even Read

        It Then…Yet Obviously

        Now i See

        Sign Enough
        Then Missing
        What is Most
        Important A Poetic
        Soul With HeART
        SPiRiT Unleashed

        For Soul To BREaTHE Free

        ‘Alexithymia’, A Condition Associated
        in Historical Studies Of Higher Functioning
        Autistic Folks Up to 85 Percent, may Come From
        Emotions So Powerful In Affective Feelings And Senses We

        Never Come
        To Navigate
        Them By Identifying
        Them With Words Associations
        To Travel With Greater Ease Through Life

        And Yes To
        Self-Motivate
        As we Come to Learn
        Our Emotions Are Our Own…

        Diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum
        Almost immediately at 47 my Sister too
        Shortly After that With Asperger’s Syndrome too…

        The Doctor Said to His Graduate Intern Like i was
        A Guinea Pig of Study… Like i wasn’t even in the Room

        ‘We See This Often on the Autism
        Spectrum It’s Fascinating He Can’t
        Describe What He Feel in Words’

        As True He asked me to
        Use Something More than
        Adrenaline After 11 years of
        Work Related Chronic to Acute
        Stress as Really At That Point

        i was all Out
        of the Adrenaline
        Hormones of Fear
        to Move Another Inch of Breathing Life Living Dead…

        And i had No Clue What He Meant About Using Emotions
        to Motivate Life as Where i am From Emotions Aren’t For Men…

        Yes as Mentioned Before Taking 66 Months to Get Over that
        Yet There was A Before too Leading Up to the Fall of mY Soul
        to Nothing At All in 2007 to my Amazement Reaching Out
        into Creativity to Ever play more than what was on the

        Sheet Music Instructions of Life
        Except for a Few Other
        Creative Isolated

        Experiences of
        Life Through the Hell
        of Pain and Numb i was
        Experiencing then the Shadow
        Side of my Soul both Dark and

        Light Escaping Through My Fingers
        Feverishly on a Piano to My Greatest
        Bitter Sweet Surprise that Suddenly i could

        Create Notes

        on a Piano

        Never

        Seen Before

        By Direction Only

        of My Fingers and

        The Shadow of my Soul

        The Much Larger Subconscious

        Part of Mind the Spirit, The HeART

        of Soul that Comprises around 95 percent

        Of Our Mind (Soul) That the 5 Percent Often has no

        Way to Relate to at All Particularly on the Autism

        Spectrum as the Doctor Suggested that Perhaps

        The Two Hemispheres of my Mind Were Not

        Communicating At All Half A Soul And

        Less indeed So i wrote to Escape

        All the Pain and Numb

        A Poetic

        Spark

        came in March of 2013

        Suddenly in July of 2013

        Two Halves Become a Whole

        And i Finally Am Reborn Again then

        Fully Human A Force of Loving All of Life

        Both Sides DarK Thru LiGHT As Was the Case

        My Air Force Reserves Major Psychiatrist Then said

        i was His Most Difficult Case Ever in Deep Deepest Depression

        Numb And Pain Anxiety Yet All the Anxiety is Gone Now of any Real

        Substantial Difficulty Since That Day Standing on the Beach in July of 2013

        Now Experiencing All Your Poem Relates to me Still… Fortunately in 2007

        For just the Record of My Soul as Different Kinds of Creativity

        Will Come And Go i Recorded what i Created on a Piano

        With A Cheap Dictation Device While

        The Creativity From

        The Keys of

        Piano

        Then Were

        Still Flowing

        Out of my Fingers

        in 2007 True it’s the only

        Piece of Piano Music i’ve ever

        Created Fumbles and All the Light

        And the Dark of my Shadow Trying to

        Escape As Living Breathing Loving Soul Again

        Now i have no Difficulty Navigating the Depth of the Story That is my Soul

        Smiles i’m Sharing This in Hopes Someway it might be useful in Relationship

        To Your Daughter on the Spectrum if i Understand You Correctly She Lives With too..:)

      2. Anna says:

        have u heard of carl jung?

      3. Anna says:

        Please share a recording, if you can……

        “Light Escaping Through My Fingers
        Feverishly on a Piano to My Greatest
        Bitter Sweet Surprise that Suddenly i could

        Create Notes”

      4. Actually That
        Was it i
        Added it to
        The end of
        My Comment
        i transferred it
        To YouTube in
        2013 Naming
        It “Challenging
        Alexithymia”
        All 11 Minutes
        And 22 Seconds
        Almost As Long
        As a Sonata keeping
        In Mind That
        i Couldn’t
        Come up
        With
        Anything
        Originally
        Creative on
        A Piano Before that😁

      5. Anna says:

        I found it. Commented on YouTube, but what I notice is that it continues to flow like your writing does. Very interesting piece. Thank you for sharing. Wonder if you’ve tried to sit down again and play.

      6. Thanks So Much… i haven’t sat down to play again since 2007.. Developing Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in a Very
        Weakened Overall
        Well Being Fortunately
        Typing Doesn’t Give me
        Problems And As You
        Mentioned In Your
        Blog Post Beauty
        Of Art is the
        Connecting
        It Brings
        As
        I’ve Always
        Had Difficulty
        In Small Talk
        Making
        FRiEnDS
        This Provides
        Some Way to
        Connect As Really
        Mostly i Just Listened
        To Other People Talk
        And Smiles With Eyes And
        Teeth Having To Wear Shades
        Really Necessitated i Put
        My Eyes In Writing
        Words Now
        With Masks
        One more Barrier
        To Connect Yet Words…
        Honestly i Almost Forgot
        About Even Playing Piano
        Until inspired by Your Playing
        Yet it was A Real Comfort

        For Many

        Years one

        FRiEnD Always

        Staying Emotions

        Of The Keys It

        Would Be

        Interesting

        To See What

        Comes after 13

        Years i’ll Try to

        Make An Effort to

        Play Soon Thanks

        Again for Your

        Kind Words of

        Inspiration Anna😁☺️

      7. Anna says:

        I thought about writing a post…..discovering my long lost love was music. Yes, art provides a way to connect with others for those who have a difficult time connecting through conversation or in person interaction. I’m interested in the aspect of autism you mentioned that allows for a much more magnified experience of life…also, I think in one of your blog posts you mentioned bipolar.

  2. Reading through the Comments Again Very Familiar With Carl Jung And Synchronicities
    That Increase as We reach Transient Hypo-Frontality A Fancy Way of Saying Flow

    Leaving the Neo Cortex More Of All Quantum Illusions in Distance, Space, Time,
    And Even Matter As Our Subjective Minds Create What We May Believe Are

    Our Objective Realities Yet As Neuroscience Shows Now Our Minds Basically
    Hallucinate Reality Based on Hallucinations Created Before Experientially So

    Some Folks Do LiVE iN A Much More Systemizing World Created As Illusion

    And the Other Hallucinations Are More Like the Wizard of Oz in all Art

    The More We Feel And Sense of Reality And Interestingly As

    Science Shows The Ability to Move into Flow and the
    Propensity to Have Low Levels of Latent Inhibition
    Is Very Much Associated With Creativity As This

    Allows More Input From the Environment Overall
    And Greater Levels of Free Associations that
    Are Where Creativity Originates And Even

    More Interesting Per the rather Vague Borders
    of Creativity And What Folks Call Irrationality

    When We Hallucinate Our Realities too Far in the ‘Yin’ Art
    Of Life Away from the More Systemizing ‘Yang’ Life We

    May Have Difficulty Returning to a Systemizing Way of Life
    Necessary to Find Order Out of Cosmos Rather Than Chaos

    Actually i Am Blessed to Have Both Bi-Polar Disorder rather Mild
    in my Case And the Higher Functioning Autism Associated With Asperger’s

    Syndrome as the Asperger’s Syndrome is Highly Inheritable on my Father’s
    Side And the Bi-Polar on My Mother’s Side hasn’t Been A Blessing So Much
    Yet A Curse for the Family Members who have Fallen to issue with Drugs and
    Crime As Often those Two Are Related And in Addition Used to Mute the

    Extremes of Emotions or Numb Associated with the Ups and Downs
    of Bi-Polar Fortunately For me as Long as i am not in An Unreasonable
    Amount of Stress i Am Okay as the Demands At My Work Place Were Just

    Out Of the Reality of What Humans Are Evolved to Do At Once Focusing
    on Just too many Forces that wanted my Attention From Social Managing
    of Folks to Information Technology Assistance to Accounting and Financial
    Management Ordinarily What an Athletic Director of a Military Installation Might
    Not Have to Do yet of Course Last Kid Picked on Sports Team in School i was

    Chosen for a Job
    i really had no Real
    Life Experience to Do

    Yet For Other Skills
    As Human Commodity

    Yet all the Other Stuff and
    Trying to Do A Job i was lost
    From Understanding How to do..

    Yet i am not one to say No or Give up
    So i didn’t Listen to my Body and Suffered
    All the realities of What is Described As Autism

    Burnout in Short All the Stress Hormones Mostly
    Socially Derived in Stress From Work Damaged
    Every Bodily System i had likely Eating Away the

    Myelin Sheafs of my Nerves Making 19 Medical
    Disorders A Real Synergy in Life Threatening Brew

    Therefore 66 Months
    To Become Basically
    Human Again Yet

    With all The Room
    To Research And Find
    Solutions that will Not Lead
    me back to Real Hell On Earth Within

    Good News is there is Surely Heaven
    Within too Just a Autotelic Flowing Feel and Sense
    of Creativity Moving Connecting in Bliss of Love For

    All DarK Thru LiGHT

    With Least Harm

    For All Nothing New

    Yet i still can’t hardly Bear
    to Touch Any Human-Made
    Materials with Super Tactile
    Sensitivity Yet the Free Dance
    And Song In Writing Free Verse
    in Autotelic Flow in Bio-Feedback

    Allows me to Focus all the Energy
    Coming in and Going out in one Center
    Point of Balance Always in Peace and Calm

    Effortless As A River Flows Without Any Real
    Anxiety or Apathetic Feelings About Life Definitely
    A Real Locus of Control That Sets me truly Totally

    Free in Bliss

    It’s really not that

    Complicated i Sense and

    Feel the Other Animals Experience

    This Flow of Focus on One Task too

    For True Take the Eye off the Predator

    Get Eaten Take the Eye off The Prey

    And Starve to Death True

    There is Walmart

    Now

    Yet We

    Are Still Human

    And Not Machines at Best

    All The Clothes The Cultural Tools

    We Wear the Gospel of Thomas Verse

    37 Verily Does Give a Great Answer

    Well Before the Catholic Church

    Got Ahold of It to Edit Buried

    In Egypt Well Before

    The Nicene

    Council in 325 AD

    Yet You See It Gives the

    ‘Power Back to the Congregation’

    And Takes it away From Every Pastor and

    Priest And Otherwise Pope of life All it Says

    Is to Strip All these Cultural Tools off Now And

    Find God Within Becoming Our Own Priest

    Pastor And Pope Free Yet it doesn’t really

    Provide Any Instructions on how

    Just to Tread on the

    Clothes Stripped

    Off with No

    Shame Rather ironic

    but that Gnostic Gospel

    Of Thomas Speaks to Jesus as A First Male Advocate

    Of Stripping indeed Metaphor Now Yet Still Reality

    All the Layers of Culture to Separate Us From God

    Nature GDD or NDD God Deficit Disorder Nature

    Deficit Disorder As God’s Face is Surely

    Naked Nature That We often

    Miss All Around

    Us yet

    You

    See my Friend

    i Have A ‘Taller

    Radio Antenna’ to Pick

    Up on it All than Most so i surely

    Understand Why Others Do not ‘See’

    As Much As i do for Like the Old Song by Gnarls Barkley

    ‘Crazy’ Goes It’s not that i’m ‘Crazy’ i Just ‘See’ More of Reality

    IN EVERY WAY Fortunately For me i am able to Return to More of What

    The Average Person Sees and Does in Life

    Folks like Vincent Van Gogh

    Not So Fortunate

    Truly

    Blessed

    Am i just took

    53 Years to Find the

    Operator Manual to my Soul Within

    Yes The Higher Force of God in Balance

    i’m not much For Form my Friend More

    Essence the Shape And Color

    Of God For me

    Wave

    Wind

    Water Ocean

    Whole FLoWinG

    What i Normally Experience

    in Flow No Different Than the Religious

    Language of the Ecstatic Experience

    Constantly Drive By Greater

    Holy Spirit Within Yet

    You See i realize

    that i am

    not the Only

    one if not for the

    Asperger’s Syndrome

    i Might Believe i am Special

    Yet i realize Less than a Grain

    of Sand And Tallest Mountains of

    Human Love connect As Without

    Grains of Sand i have

    No Where

    to Stand

    or To Be

    Grounded too…

    This Place i LiVE iN

    is Truly Almost Unlimited

    Yet Nothing Without Focus

    That All the Perseverance Gifts..:)

    1. Anna says:

      Protected
      by our words
      scrambled
      by our mind
      riddled for the others
      in hope
      they might find
      our soul beneath
      the dark
      that utmost high
      might spark
      connection from within
      feelings not a sin
      but treasures
      we all seek
      when spirit
      frozen bleak
      prose unites
      the weak.

      1. Smiles Anna Lovely
        Again You Surely
        Seem to See
        Similarly
        Through
        Your Soul Within
        As i Seem to as Well..:)

    2. Anna says:

      This is one of my fears when it comes to creativity…

      “When We Hallucinate Our Realities too Far in the ‘Yin’ Art
      Of Life Away from the More Systemizing ‘Yang’ Life We

      May Have Difficulty Returning to a Systemizing Way of Life”

      1. Yep Been There
        Done It At 21
        And indeed
        i was Lost
        For 3 Months
        In “Wonderland”

        ‘They’ Had
        Never Seen
        The Mix of
        My ‘Disorders’
        In One Human
        Labeled None
        For Asperger’s
        In 1981 Then Even In

        Those 66 Months
        Starting in 2008
        In Hell They

        Gave up

        On me

        Up to me
        To Heal

        So

        Yeah

        Looked

        Within Then

        A Naked Dance

        And Song in

        Flow Cure

        All For me At Least..:)

      2. Anna says:

        Maybe you should have done 66 months in “wonderland” and 3 months in hell, instead.

      3. Hehe Wasn’t Really Ready
        For ‘The Call’ Then in 1981
        The Last 89
        Months
        Since Those
        66 Months
        Jan 2008 thru
        July 2013 Hell Then
        Is Still Wonderland
        And Oz
        NoW iN
        Center
        Point
        Laser
        Focus
        Bliss Flow
        Balance
        HAha
        All

        Bases

        CoVeRinG NoW🥳☺️

  3. Thank you! Your rendition of this piece was quite lovely indeed.

    1. Anna says:

      Thank you for listening, Jason! Despite playing from simplified arrangements from childhood lessons, it’s still advanced for me. 🙂

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